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August 30, 2006
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Comments: 122
Favourites: 63 [who?]

Views: 3,779 (0 today)
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You
underneath,
brushing the willow,
swallow many branches, while
brushing the willow
underneath
you.

Silence,
they hear the
scratch, the bark
at the back of your throat.
Scratch the bark,
they hear the
silence.

You
underneath
brushing the willow,
silence!
They hear the
scratch, the bark
at the back of your throat;
scratch the bark
they hear the
silence,
brushing the willow
underneath
you.
:iconamalgamadora:
This is experimental, so I'm open to any ideas along with critique. There is a meaning, but the poem is basically up for interpretation. Thanks for reading.

[EDIT] Wow, a DD. I never though that could happen. Thanks so much *salshep and ^PoeticWar. Words cannot express my gratitude.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2006-09-11
You Underneath by *Amalgamadora is an interesting execution of an original form. ( Suggested by `salshep and Featured by `PoeticWar )
love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongravedancer23:
Mood: Love ~GraveDancer23 Jan 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I think this may well be my favourite poem so far. You say it's up for interpretation but I don't think that's required, the sound of the words and the way you've used them are beautiful enough without thinking about what they might actually mean. I find the sound of the words kind of soothing.
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:iconmesmeric-revelation:
beautiful in many ways, i enjoyed reading this piece:D
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:iconamalgamadora:
why thanks :) You'll probably be confused about this. im a little slow with replies haha.
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:iconmesmeric-revelation:
you're welcome, and i was:D
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:iconflutterbyfae:
~flutterbyfae Mar 24, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I like the imagery, but it's the symmetry that is enchantingly intriguing for me.
It inspires me to try that myself, but words aren't exactly my strong point.
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:iconamalgamadora:
Why thanks for the fave and comment! The symmetry was actually a little difficult to pull off, but I think it worked for the best in the end :D

Sorry this is so late. I procrastinate my message box like you wouldnt believe lol.
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:iconflutterbyfae:
~flutterbyfae Apr 29, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
In any case, it was well worth the effort :)

(And no worries about message box procrastination--I completely understand, lol)
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:iconfeedyouth:
I loved the structure, the fullfilment of the poem is brilliant. I think the connection between the words is very strong. It's really great!!
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:iconamalgamadora:
Thanks for the comment, and +fav!
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:iconfeedyouth:
you're very good!
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